I Don't Need Your Concerns, thank you

Hidden under the guise of wanting to share
a picture of a meteor or some such thing.
You have someone to share with these days
How extraordinarily lovely that must be for you.
I don't think I'm ever going to know what that
feels like. I resent you insinuating yourself in
my life. Please leave me be.

Every day is this preparation for battle. I feel it
as I lift my fork to eat leftover grilled chicken.
I feel it as I drop the towel from my wet head
and think of the next step--the practical one--
of getting the dryer out as I have waited too long
now to let it dry naturally. I feel it in the sinews,
the muscles, the bones. I feel it well up in my eyes.
I have been saying I grow weary for some time.
Perhaps what I have grown is complacent. I have
given up in the way the diseased rose budding on my
trellis, which leads the way into my father's garden,
has given up its leaves to an insidious and incredibly
intent mite or aphid. The leaves are but shells of what
they once were, but the buds remain untouched.
Without my help, the whole plant may succumb.
I want to help, and I want to let things go. I want the
backyard to reclaim all those flower and herb beds
I spent so much time cultivating. I spent so much
time planning and choosing the right plants for the right
spot. But I am complacent and unwilling to take care
of anything else at this point. I am doing well to take
care of me.

I have purposely not come here as often as I had planned.
I thought I needed to unload about the daily worries re:
weird health shit, but I think I have given up on that.
It was not leading me to any understanding. Things
continue to bother me. I am not saying I won't find myself
coming here again and blathering on about them.

8:20 now. I'm supposed to be at work by 8:30, but considering
I have not dried my hair, gotten dressed, brushed my teeth
nor put on my make-up, it's not likely I'll get there on time.
But what the hell. I rally am one of the few who ever manages
to get there right on time.