To Do

brush teeth
wash face
do dishes
mop kitchen floor
do laundry
mow yard
plant the speedwell before it dies
shower
cook
do it all over again
and again
again

May just lie in bed and read--too hot to do anything outside.
It was 95 yesterday with a 105 heat index.

Let's see--lots of stress this week. A. is up and down.
I don't want to be making any kind of diagnosis, but
she is going through some definite rapid-cycling.
I can't think this would still be from the drug.

I love her and want her here, but she and Wes are not
getting along and she really doesn't like Molly at all!
Every time Molly barks, A. looks like she's going
to jump out of her skin. I think she's making Molly
a nervous wreck. Molly's definitely not behaving
like herself (not eating her breakfast 1/2 the time,
looking mopey). But what can I do? I am trying hard
to be here for everyone, but I'm getting stretched
rather thin. Thank goodness for the good days and
moments when things are on an even keel and we're
just quietly all hanging out together or we're playing
a game or having a nice meal.

Speaking of having a nice meal, something weird is
going on with me. I f****ing don't even want to cook
anymore. I was so digging creating new dishes or
finding old favorites in the recipe books or reading
new recipes and trying them. My shelves are lined
with recipe books, but my heart isn't in it. Matter of
fact, I don't even want to eat many days. Eat I do
though, and drink. Mostly drink lots at night and just
let the liquor take me away. I did teach A. how to
make tortellini soup last night. It was good, and she's
thrilled to know how to make it. Tonight something
very basic like a ginger-glazed chicken, some fresh
corn, broccoli, herbed new potatoes, but I could really
care less.

Sister lost her house. F***ing Obama plan is nothing
but hype. Any reader of this tripe who so chooses should
go review the website and read some of the testimonials.

Here's one that really gets me:

http://makinghomeaffordable.gov/example_modification.html

The chick in the example brings in $4,200.00 a month. Holy
crap! And she can't make ends meet on that? That's ludicrous!

It appears this is another one of those plans for people with money
who live beyond their means. I know my sister has worked
hard all of her life, not lived beyond her means, currently works
2-3 jobs to make sure she can pay her bills, but is she going
to get any help? Nope. She lost her job in Nov. and is now bringing
in only about 1/3 of what she once brought home, but can't they
work with her for five years to give her time to hopefully find
a better job or for the market to improve so she can sell the house
and actually have some money left after paying off the loan,
or enough time to find a better job and be able to continue to keep
her house.

But, it's a done deal. They (the infamous they) said no.

So, I have to figure out when I can get to Fl to help her
transport her art here. Most likely, she will rent a U-Haul
there and bring the work here and I'll take her back.

Much to consider.

Time to go brush my teeth. Crashed last night without doing
that and they feel really gross. Yuck.