Dark Monday Morning

And it's time to get ready for work, though
I confess that I shall do very little to get
ready for work. Dress, put my hair up,
put a little concealer on those dark circles
and other flaws, out a little powder on,
some blush, mascara, and lipstick. I'll look
somewhat presentable.

And, I am actually wearing pink today. A pink
casual top with black pants. I've been in all black
far too long, though I have added color to my
wardrobe since starting this job in October.
I have worn lime green, a silky amber blouse
with beading at the square collar, red, magenta,
and a multi-colored sleeveless top I wear with black
slacks and a black dress jacket. I have even worn
a coffee-colored suit--very stylish. So, I am branching
out. It's just hard.

Slept from 10 or so until 3:44. That's a long time for me.
I have been having some difficulty breathing, but I am
not sure what's wrong. Everything feels tight. I am better
at the moment.

I would like to get away from the I of all my posts. For
posterity's sake (and perhaps some egoism), I am hooked
on discussing the I of me. Perhaps I can move beyond
that to more interesting topics. So many interesting,
unusual, terrifying, terrible, wonderful, amusing, note-
worthy things happen every day. Even on the most
ordinary day. Even when it is the most ordinary of things,
it is the mind which sees it some days as extraordinary,
and in seeing it as such, indeed elevates it to that level.
The robin in the holly tree who chooses to sing for me.
The deer in the woods who stops herself as my car rounds
the curve. Who waits until she knows I am n0t going
to hit her before she crosses in front of me, fawn in tow.
The light through the shattered trees as night approaches.
The purple sea my bakcyard has become, full of clover
and wild violets. The first butterfly of the season, spotted
in the field at the cemetery as Molly and I walked along.
Those were all ordinary events, but my mind sanctified
each, blessed each, thanked the universe for showing me
all the beauty I don't want to leave. For giving me conviction.