Eating

It is nearing 11 and I am just now eating.
I had decided to forego food and just keep drinking.
Doesn't always work that way.

Call it self-medicating. I'm down with that.

I wonder how many years this can go on.
I can see a day when it no longer exists.

I miss some people. I embrace new people.
I am not sure how to navigate these waters.

If I heard a voice from the past, I am not sure
it would soothe me. If I heard a now familiar
voice, I am not sure it would be enough.

Enough tonight is to eat a taco. Not some
authentic ethnic recipe--a little bit of me
thrown into a lot of a box, but what the hell.

I am confused at times that those I feel the
closest connection with don't feel me. Or if
they do, they don't make their presence known.

Be present. Please.